Recently Harry found his toes. To him, they are hilarious. Kiss them and he’s the happiest little boy around. His tiny rare baby giggle has now become proper abundant baby laughter. And, after his first cry when he was born, it’s the best sound I’ve ever heard. I could actually listen to it all day.
At the risk of sounding quite deep and soppy – fellow mums, do you look back on your life pre-baby and think it was all a bit shallow and meaningless? Or does my feeling that way say something about how I was living my pre-baby and single life? Yes, that probably sounds a lot worse than I mean it. Don’t worry, I wasn’t on drugs or anything. I didn’t party much, and it wasn’t like I wasn’t going anywhere. But I think I had a very selfish focus – after friends and my parents, my career and fitness were the most important things to me. My only worry was what (most likely expensive) outfit to wear to work the next day or what wine to choose when out with friends on a Friday night. I guess that’s normal? I’m not saying it’s bad to be like that, far from it. It’s an awesome way of life. But having Harry has made everything in my life better and richer.
Each day he discovers something new. I was supposed to go back to full time work in September, when Harry was just four months old, to finish up a project that was previously a pretty big deal. How on earth did I think that was going to happen?! I guess pre-baby you really have NO IDEA what an impact that little person is going to have on your life, and how much you really will NOT want to be separated from them too early.
If I had gone back when I was meant to, I would most likely have missed his first laugh and the first time he rolled from back to front. He has this new thing where he looks up at me and touches my cheek, smiling. It’s absolutely amazing. And you never get those moments back. I’m so grateful I could be there to see them, and each time I look at my little man, despite a full on day of teething moodiness like we’ve had a lot lately, it literally just gets better.
My good friend once said to me that all she wanted to do, all day every day, is just hang out with her little girl and her man. Now I know that feeling. Before, I needed ‘things’ and ‘stuff’. Now, I don’t need anything or anywhere to be, just us three is enough. No matter what we’re doing, we smile, we laugh, we cry – Harry mostly, but my husband or I occasionally ;) – and we have adventures. It’s like my husband and I are rediscovering the joy of being a kid through our little one. And it’s awesome. A quote I read the other day sums it up perfectly – ‘I gave him life, he taught me the meaning of it.’.