by MeOhMy Founder&Editor Siobhan (@meohmymum)

On the eve of welcoming our new baby into this world, I’ve been reflecting on my motherhood journey so far. It’s been amazing, eye-opening, traumatic, astounding, beautiful and more. No matter how hard it is, I wouldn’t trade being a mum for anything in this world. 

However, there is one thing that sticks in my mind about the last 17 months with our son Harry. Something that I am determined to do differently this time around.

My biggest regret from my first year of motherhood? Not being ‘in the moment’ enough and soaking up the early days.

From the time Harry was born, I was stressed about getting him into a good routine. I monitored every minute of his day, read all the advice books, and tried to plan and run everything perfectly. Add the fact that my husband and I got married when Harry was just four months old, so I was planning a wedding while Harry was a newborn, and I also started this blog and got back into freelance writing. Phew.

I think us mums put too much pressure on ourselves to 'do it all'. We want to have our cake and eat it too - the perfect child, tidy house, a career and more. Women tend to glorify busy and compete to see who has the most on their plate. It's rife across the media, social media, mothers' groups and coffee catchups.

I feel like I wasted Harry's newborn-ness. I didn’t take the time to enjoy the cuddles for as long as possible – instead of holding him, I would put him down in his cot because “he had to get used to self settling”. I wouldn’t rock him to sleep in case he formed ‘sleep attachments’. I fed to a strict timetable, not on demand. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a monster – of course I would go to him when he needed me, cuddling and rocking, and would give him extra feeds if he needed it. I did what I knew best at the time, but regret not soaking up every ounce of newborn goodness. Getting him into a routine really early was great for all of us - but I was so busy it all went past in a blur.

My slight OCD and perfectionism are character traits I’ve been well aware of my whole life. But this time around, I’m determined to do things differently because you never get this time back.

To some extent, I’ve got no choice in that given our little lady will just have to go with the flow sometimes while I’m organising her brother. But I have a tendency to take on too much, outside of motherhood, and this is my reminder to myself and vow to do less this time around.

With that, fellow mamas and Insta-pals, I’m going to be taking a bit of a break from the blog. It hasn’t been an easy decision given my passion for it. It might just be a week or two, it might be longer. I’m going to just see how being a mum to two under 17 months goes, and completely immerse myself in every moment.

Of course, I’ll still be on Instagram so I’ll chat to you there :)

xx

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