By MeOhMy Founder Siobhan (@meohmymum)
As requested, this week we're again heading back to some of our earlier blog posts...this is a little something I wrote just after Harry's first birthday. I hope it helps - enjoy, and as always let me know what you think! Insta or Snap 'meohmy_mum' :)
Being a mum is the best of times and the worst.
I have never felt such a complex set of emotions all at once.
And I’m not just talking about in the newborn days when you’re generally quite sleep deprived.
Still, 13 months on from giving birth to our baby boy, there are days of soaring highs. Mums, you’ll know what I mean. Your heart swells with love and pumps with joy. You can’t fathom how you are responsible for another human being, let alone how intelligent and beautiful they are. Outings are easy, your sh*t is sorted, and mum life a breeze.
Then the next day BAM, it’s back down to earth with a resounding thud. Nothing goes right and mum life is just plain horrible.
There are days where you question yourself hundreds of times. Where nothing goes right. Where you feel exposed, lonely, stripped bare, exhausted and just plain useless. You feel like you’re not enough.
The ‘mum stress’ sets in – where you are constantly on edge about what your child might do next. Is a tantrum on the way? Will they actually sleep today? They’re happy to sit in the pram for now while I have a sip of coffee while it’s actually hot, but how long have I got?
But, maybe this is just a feeling that I get. In pre-mum life I was used to always being in control and planned everything down to the letter. I was a perfectionist. But perfectionism and motherhood do not go hand in hand.
For me, recently it’s like I’m doing nothing right. I’m not being a good mum, a good wife or a good writer.
I take too much on. In the fight to ‘have it all’ - both a career and motherhood, as so many of us strive for once we have a baby - I am treading water but sometimes drowning.
Some days I’m all “I’ve totally got this”. Others are full of “Jesus what do I do now?” or “I’m not coping”. From soaring highs to lowest lows.
With baby number 2 on the way soon, I need to learn to say NO. To enjoy the time I have now watching our wee man grow. To revel in the last days of him being an only child.
And I’m trying to learn to relinquish control. To be ok with the disorganised. That life can sometimes be a red-hot mess and that’s ok. That mum life is chaotic, frenetic and stressful, but equally wondrous, beautiful, sweet and bissful.
Boy, is it some kind of bliss when you get it.