By Contributor Amber Turvey (@amberturvey_)

I’m a mum of one, of two, three or more...

Don’t judge me.

I’m a stay at home mum, a working mum,

a single mum, a co-parent mum...

Don’t judge me.

I feed by the boob, I feed by a bottle...

Don’t judge me.

My babies in a cot, or maybe it's not...

Don’t judge me.

I’m a routine mum, I’m strict or relaxed...

Don’t judge me.

I’m raising my family just like you're raising yours...

My way is my way, and your way is yours.

Becoming a mother is the most daunting yet rewarding thing you will ever do.  The joy and happiness you feel when you first look into your little one’s eyes…how could you love something so much that it hurts!

The first few weeks after bringing your new baby home you are in your own little bubble of love and sleep deprivation.  The late nights up feeding you find yourself scrolling through your social media feeds to pass the time away and keep from falling asleep.  You join online mother’s groups and read through posts and photos of love and boasting, questions and answers.

Amber and her two babes Hugo and Isabella

Amber and her two babes Hugo and Isabella

It’s here where you will experience the online mummy community that is helpful, but also very judgemental.  No sooner do you feel you are winning at this mum-life game, you are now second-guessing everything you do.  

Why as mothers can we be so judgemental towards each other?  We are all on the same journey, raising our children. Why is one way the wrong way?

I will be honest with you and the way I parent. I’m a routine mum and my day is planned from start to finish, every day. I wrap my babies until they are 10 months old, I use sleeping bags and I use blankets. I use a dummy and I feed solids from 5 months old.

Izzy in full feeding mode

Izzy in full feeding mode

My babies are in their own room’s from the get go, I use a video and a breathing monitor.  I get anxious if they don’t sleep when they are supposed to, catnap or if their bedtime routine is out of whack.  My children eat at the same time every day and go to bed at the same time each night. I’m not all about breast is best.  I mixed fed my first and breastfed my second.  

Don’t judge me, because I don’t judge you.

I don’t judge you if you co-sleep or if you would rather follow their cues.  I don’t judge the way your baby sleeps, the way you feed or if your day is never planned.  I don’t judge if you let your baby cry or if you rock them to sleep every night.  I don’t care if you discipline your children or let them run free.

I don’t judge you, so don’t judge me.

One of those days

One of those days

As we come off the back of PNDA Awareness week, I felt compelled to touch on this subject.  It has been mentioned in previous blog posts by Shiv here.

To remind you, to remind myself, to just BE aware.

The next time your scrolling social media or enjoying a coffee with your mummy friends, be mindful of what you say.  We, as mothers, need to support each other.  You never know if the person your judging is struggling, or if it’s her last straw.  Instead of telling them it isn’t the right way, smile, support or just scroll on by.  

Have an open mind, an open heart, love and encourage.

Dance to the beat of your own drum.

Don’t judge.

 

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