By MeOhMy Founder Siobhan (@meohmymum)
When I was a first-time mum, I was very focussed on milestones. What my child SHOULD be doing, and when.
Everything from what they should be eating, to how long they should be sleeping, whether they should be crawling, if they were able to eat chunky food...yep, I Googled that shit like a mad woman.
But it didn't take very long for me to realise something. "SHOULD" can just get F*CKED.
It never ceases to amaze me just how many mums don't realise this. And judge other mums for where their baby is at. Like it's a reflection of our parenting skills?!
Lately I've been feeling like a failure for the fact that Aoife is skinny and not anywhere near eating the 'standard' one year old chunky food yet. She's very tall and lean.
It's one thing feeling bad about it myself. But when someone else tells me....GRRRRRR.
I'm sick to death of people telling me that Aoife "should" be eating chunks of food. She should be self weaning. She shouldn't still be having so many bottles. The list goes on...
Never mind the fact that she doesn't have ANY teeth (yep, none, and she's nearly one - I didn't get any teeth until I was 18 months old, apparently!) so can't chew much. She gums toast and sweet potato, and that's about all that's been successful. She has her puree, mostly meat and vege, and bottles.
I'm not going to cut down on bottles until she's having more solid food. Yes I know, the more milk she has the less solids she wants...it's a vicious circle.
However, she's a lightweight little thing - so until such time as she's a decent weight, I'm going to keep putting that milk into her. Because she wants it. She's hungry - so I feed her what I know she wants and will eat. Full bloody stop.
I once knew a mum who had a baby the same age as Harry at the time. They were both nearly one. Harry had just started walking, but had no words other than "mummm" or "dadadada". Her baby could say several different words properly, however couldn't crawl let alone walk.
Did I tell her she "should be moving"? Hell no. Not my business. And not my job! Her baby was obviously developing verbally first, then moving later. Harry was the opposite. Each to their own, and all of that.
Because, every baby is different. Even within families - Harry didn't crawl until he was 6 months, while Aoife started at 5 months. Harry was walking at 11 months, Aoife is trying but I think it'll be another month or two yet. Harry loved to breastfeed while Aoife didn't.
Yes, there are some things you need to be aware of and get checked if they happen too late. But seriously, SHOULD can just get F'ED!